It’s usually hard to pinpoint the
exact moment that a film becomes bad. Two minutes in, that’s where
‘Shark Tale’ decided to give up. At two minutes in, any hope this
film had was lost as sea. Even in those ‘ok’ opening minutes
we had our first awkward pop culture reference as Frankie the shark
sings the Jaws theme to his brother Lenny, describing it as “our
theme song”. Before you can even comprehend how weird that line is
you are presented with a full on assault of the senses. Things just
keep happening, fish based things and they happen constantly. Fish
pun after pun, intercut with terrible product placement and stunt
casting…
To be honest, that last sentence is a
fine review of this film, really sums it up. Continuing on however,
you are given a brief tour of the fish based city and are introduced
to our lead, Oscar, possibly the worst lead in an animated movie,
certainly Will Smith’s worst performance. I honestly don’t know
how you can write a character to be so unlikable; I don’t
understand who he appeals to? He’s selfish, a liar and convinced
that he’s better than everyone around him. I appreciate that for
someone to have a character arc where they learn the value of life;
they need to start as an arsehole. That being said he really doesn’t
learn the error of his ways until quite a long way into the film.
Even when he does, his motivation is partially out of fear for his own
life.
It’s not fair to put all the blame on
Will Smith though; most of the cast give terrible performances. With
the weird exception of Martin Scorsese, everyone sounds confused and
as if they’ve never acted before. I can’t really blame them for
being confused by the film. It’s easy enough to follow but the very
fact it exists is confusing.
The plot is relatively competent,
although it’s a pretty standard boy who cried wolf plot, so
screwing it up would be pretty difficult. It’s an ok narrative that
is executed, not even poorly executed just executed, violently and
appallingly. 99% of the jokes fall flat and a large amount of them
are references. You get three references alone to Titanic, two of
which are just references to the movie.
Not 5 seconds go without an awkward and
very obvious pop cultural reference. The gaps in between the
references are filled with awkward product placement. The parts that
aren’t directly spoof, puns or selling products are equally
terrible. Bearing in mind this is a kid’s film, aimed at children.
We get a scene where Oscar is tied up and tortured using electricity
and a scene where a shrimp begs for its life by claiming that his
nephew has no limbs and needs him to survive, describing the boy as a
“stump”. Why didn’t they just make a film about sharks? Lenny
is a vegetarian shark trying to win his dad’s approval, that’s a
decent enough concept and he’s a likable character. That would
still give you plenty of room for lines about “sleeping with
fishes” and other gangster based fish puns.
The animation is also deeply
unappealing, not just visually but technically. At times it looks
like a Machinima of a ps2 game, with characters awkwardly flailing
around while delivering lines. Pixar were smart enough to realise
that you don’t animate fish like humans, you animate them like
fish. Seeing fish fist bump each other and do MC Hammer impressions
is just weird and unsettling.
So much happens in this film that isn’t
funny and very little of it makes sense. I found myself laughing, but
only at myself for deciding to review it. Shark Tale is Dreamworks in
the worst way possible. The film is full to the gills with stunt
casting. It's ugly animation, unappealing characters and an unfunny
script. The weirdest thing of all about the film is the confidence it
has. Crazy Joe, Oscar’s Hermit crab friend interrupts the end
credits to say “Have you seen what’s playing next door? Stinky!”.
I can only assume the film playing next door is an extended directors
cut of Shark Tale.
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